wanting and waiting
Today i feel semi cute...a lil funk has been lifted but it hasn't stopped me from feeling a wee bit down.. I'm wearing black pedal pushers with a green scoop neck tee..gold leaf pin on the shirt and big ole gold hoops...I got on leopard pumps as well...hair down..i'm glad it's a lil bit cooler so i can wear my hair down...The past few days have been stifling...In other news this treo of mines has hit a brick wall and i'll be leaving work early so i can take it to the sprint store to get it worked on or recalibrated...hopefully it does not take 5 hours...
Anyway...i talked with "the dude" last night...from this point on he'll be known as Anime... There I was yesterday smoking in my bed as i have been doing these past few days, weeks...just pondering...sometimes my heart smiles at the opportunity but then i get that pang in my chest when he says things like "maybe" Anime is a logical type guy..there are no grey areas and it amazes me that he has taken on some of my characteristics.. See he's an equation type dude, everything has an answer...and i told him when it comes to matters of the heart there is no logical answers, nor is there a simple one that boads wells with every sense you have in your body...love does alot of stuff to you and has u open in times when u think u shouldnt be..having said that I havent seen Anime in 2 months...seems like 5 it maybe 3 by now but i really wanna see him..Anime use to be so eager to see me..like erry chance we got it was here or there and i liked that about us..like nothing was more pressing than each other..i miss that..in essence i still feel the same way....but he does not..it hurts...u know when u get ya hopes up..and the next thing it's like *stab stab* but i guess you gotta deal in situations like mines...But i do believe that half of the things he feels and the walls he built up will come down once we have the chance to communicate in person and not via phone nor text...I wish he could see i mean him no harm nor am i trying to play him or take advantage...I so am not... He says he needs time...I haven't spoken to my bestfriend about anything because you know translated in women speak when dude says they need time, most of the time it means " I wanna get my fuck on or i wanna date this new biddy here." Some may say i'm silly but i honestly believe the things he says..it's not him i worry about it's the she's... I wanna be the only her and i hope he comes around and sees before someone else tries to capture his heart.
Anyway...i talked with "the dude" last night...from this point on he'll be known as Anime... There I was yesterday smoking in my bed as i have been doing these past few days, weeks...just pondering...sometimes my heart smiles at the opportunity but then i get that pang in my chest when he says things like "maybe" Anime is a logical type guy..there are no grey areas and it amazes me that he has taken on some of my characteristics.. See he's an equation type dude, everything has an answer...and i told him when it comes to matters of the heart there is no logical answers, nor is there a simple one that boads wells with every sense you have in your body...love does alot of stuff to you and has u open in times when u think u shouldnt be..having said that I havent seen Anime in 2 months...seems like 5 it maybe 3 by now but i really wanna see him..Anime use to be so eager to see me..like erry chance we got it was here or there and i liked that about us..like nothing was more pressing than each other..i miss that..in essence i still feel the same way....but he does not..it hurts...u know when u get ya hopes up..and the next thing it's like *stab stab* but i guess you gotta deal in situations like mines...But i do believe that half of the things he feels and the walls he built up will come down once we have the chance to communicate in person and not via phone nor text...I wish he could see i mean him no harm nor am i trying to play him or take advantage...I so am not... He says he needs time...I haven't spoken to my bestfriend about anything because you know translated in women speak when dude says they need time, most of the time it means " I wanna get my fuck on or i wanna date this new biddy here." Some may say i'm silly but i honestly believe the things he says..it's not him i worry about it's the she's... I wanna be the only her and i hope he comes around and sees before someone else tries to capture his heart.
